Alright, let’s sit with this for a moment. The question touches something profoundly uncomfortable, yet undeniably real. It’s like pulling back the curtain on a hidden wound—a wound no one wants to acknowledge, because acknowledging it challenges too many assumptions about how we think men, marriage, and relationships "should" work.

Let’s Start With The Question Itself.

The idea that suicide rates among married men or boyfriends in India are disproportionately high carries a weight of truth. But why? Let’s unpack it layer by layer. Why would something as socially revere as marriage—a supposed bedrock of emotional support—be linked with higher despair?

At first glance, it feels counterintuitive. Isn’t marriage supposed to provide companionship, stability, even a sense of purpose?
But perhaps the truth is darker: for many men, marriage isn’t a sanctuary—it’s a battlefield they’re ill-equipped to fight in.

Assumptions That Need Revisiting

Pause here. What are we assuming about men and relationships?

1. Men are stronger and "less emotional." But this is a lie society tells men, and more devastatingly, that men tell themselves.
2. Marriage is a solution, not a challenge. We assume that being married means a man has "support" or "stability." But support requires emotional safety, and many marriages—especially under societal or familial pressures—lack this.
3. Men’s struggles are invisible because they should be. When was the last time you heard of a man talking openly about the emotional toll of a relationship without being dismissed or ridiculed?

Here’s where it gets tricky: we’re conditioned to see men as providers, not humans. Their worth is tied to their utility. Once they stop being “useful”—a good earner, a protector, a decision-maker—they lose societal value, and worse, their sense of self-worth.

Let’s Explore the 'Pressure Cooker'

Think of the average Indian man in a marriage or relationship. What’s expected of him?

1. Financial Provider: He is often the primary or sole breadwinner, carrying immense financial pressure. If the finances falter, he falters—because society doesn’t separate the two.
2. Emotional Stonewall: He isn’t expected to cry, complain, or crumble. His job is to “take it on the chin” and keep going. But where does all that pain go?
3. Cultural Expectations: Marriage in India isn’t just about the couple. It’s a contract between families, with all the accompanying drama, expectations, and, often, interference.

4. Legal Vulnerability: This is touchy but true: while laws like Section 498A are critical for protecting women from genuine abuse, there’s also a well- documented misuse that leaves men feeling helpless and targeted.

So what happens when the pressure builds? When the finances wobble, the marriage turns sour, or the man feels emotionally isolated? Society tells him to endure—but enduring isn’t surviving.

Marriage as a Silent Battlefield

Let’s really sit with this for a moment. What happens to a man who feels trapped in a marriage or relationship? He doesn’t leave—not in India. Divorce is taboo, seen as a mark of failure, especially for men. The man is expected to "fix it" or, worse, silently suffer. He can’t even openly discuss marital conflict without risking stigma or ridicule.

Now imagine the isolation: a man drowning but unable to cry out for help because he’s been taught his voice doesn’t matter in this context.

What No One Wants to Admit

Here’s the hardest truth: sometimes, marriage isn’t a blessing for men — it’s a trap. A trap created by cultural expectations, societal pressures, and the emotional neglect of men’s inner worlds. And no one wants to admit this because it upends the narrative of what marriage is supposed to be.

Marriage is supposed to "settle" men, "save" them, make them better. But what if, for many men, it does the opposite? What if it amplifies their struggles instead of alleviating them?

Why This Is So Hard to Address

We don’t want to talk about male vulnerability. It feels like it diminishes the suffering of women, which has historically been ignored or trivialized. But it doesn’t have to be either/or. Both men and women can be victims of societal expectations, and both need spaces to heal.

The stigma surrounding mental health is already massive in India. Combine that with the stigma of men expressing vulnerability, and you get a silence so deafening it kills. Literally.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

Here’s the honest answer: we don’t have a quick fix. But we have to start somewhere.

1. Normalize Men Seeking Help: Therapy needs to be reframed as strength, not weakness. Men must be encouraged—and enabled—to seek help without fear of judgment.
2. Challenge Cultural Narratives: The idea that men must "provide" or "endure" needs to be dismantled. Gender equality isn’t just about empowering women— it’s about freeing men from toxic expectations, too.
3. Create Legal Safeguards for All Genders: Laws meant to protect women are vital, but ensuring they’re not misused is equally crucial. Men need to feel they can voice grievances without being dismissed.
4. Reimagine Marriage: We need to stop idealizing marriage as a cure-all and start treating it as the complex, dynamic relationship it is—one that requires mutual emotional effort and care.

A Final Thought

There’s a quote that comes to mind: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

Maybe the most revolutionary thing we can do is extend that kindness to men. To listen to their silent battles, to validate their pain, and to let them know it’s okay to break, to cry, to feel lost.

Because until we do, we’ll keep losing them. One silent battle at a time.

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P.S. : Author of this article wishes to remain anonymous.